the moment i tot of him my tears drop. mayb everyone who read my blog would tink i'm a crybaby. but it cant be help bcuz i dunno wat else can i do. i reali reali reali miss him that much. but he is not sayin anything at all. he makes me feel like i'm clinging on to him. like i'm all so thick skin to stick to him. i tried to calmmy heart dis two days without toking to him. but instead each day is gettin unbearable to me. i noe that i am impatient. but i cant help it that i am missing him that much. i bottle up all my feelings inside me. wen i see couples so sweet tgther, i am not jealous juz that i reali envy that they love one another and dey chose to be togther. i haven been feelin well. recently only eat one meal a day and that pathetic meal is so little food. but dis few days kena slight food poisoning dunno eat wat wrong thing. keep on vomit and diarrhoea anything that i consume. so which means it equal to me not eating anything at all since i only ate one meal. miracle that i am not in de hospital yet. guess that is bcuz i force myself to drink glucose. that's why i din faint like de last time. i dunno how he feels bout it bout us. but i hope at least he is happy with his decision even though for me is unbearable. i keep askin myself dis question..why doesnt he wans me anymore? people make mistake. even though i noe i repeat that mistake lots of time, i dun believe its so bad until u dun wan me le. i reali love you but why? =...(
