我们真的只剩下回忆吗?
ur de leading lady in his life now.. i was once his starz for many nite.. tings change... destiny change... tings and day moved on. we live our life each day as de sun rise and set without choice. how i wish de time could stop... so tt we can relive the good moments and cherish it even more...how i wish..
we dun even dare to look at each other now. i dun deny.. ur good u reali dote on me. but tt is de past...but wat bout now? i noe is impossible tt tings will remain de same as b4 without even de slightest change. at the thot of it... 我真的很伤心。。。
Saturday, March 22, 2008
well.. i dunno wat to say. if u cant trust us enuf to pour out everything. and instead u came telling me without alcohol ur as good as dead. den fine. my temper isnt good. i am able to shout at u rite in ur face to wake up and get a grip alr showed something. dun force me to slap a fren whom i care alot for. if u wanna carry on like dis. i'm nt gg to care anymore which i noe will suits u fine. u dun wan others to worry for u. but check urself. at the rate ur gg on, even if i dun show tt i worry. u juz make me sad for u in my heart. like wat i sae in de afternoon. u go tink it thru. watever tt is bothering you. is it worth it for u to ruin urself like tt. dun blame it on de food tt u vomit. bcuz i'm someone who cant take alcohol wif food in my stomach as well. and de fact is i ate more den u. more meals den u. and i noe jolly well tt little bit of food tt u have taken wil nt make someone vomit de way u vomited. ur juz using alcohol every nite to get over it. and at the rate tt ur gg. ur addicted to it like its a drug addiction. how else do u tink i wil tink wen i saw it wif my own eyes tt ur craving for alcohol so badly? i am someone who is mean. since u wanna ruin urself like tt. i'm juz gonna let u drink till u drop. drink till u nv dare to drink again. provided ur nt poison to death by it. frenz ard u care for u alot. but u rather bottled up everything. u were de one who told me.. if ever i need a shoulder a listening ear.. ur owayz dere for me. but look at it now. i wil nv ever sae out i need a listening ear to u again. bcuz u cant even get over ur own troubles. u cant get over it on ur own is okay. but yet u push away all those who wanted to help u get over it as well.
u told me u alr dunno how to open up anymore. but let me ask u. are u tryin hard enuf to re-learn how to open up to others now? are u? frm wat i see the answer is no. unless u can prove me wrong.
我是个用心交朋友的人...朋友遇到困难如果我做得到我一定帮到底...
de decision is up to u. and i wun bother to ask again wat happen. i owayz believe if u felt comfortable enuf wif me to share ur probs u will naturally share.. but if u made me asked once yet u sae nthing and wanted to bottle tings up. i will nv ask again. 我希望你能想的开...
Friday, March 21, 2008
看见你脸上的痛的思念...你叫我怎么不心痛? 想到当初那个晚上那个令我难忘的生日晚上...你叫我不要在爱你...让你走... 看见那些还储存在我手机里的短讯...你对我说.."对不起..让你这么的爱着我...请你以后不要再爱我...我也会停止再继续爱着你..." 看到这样的短讯...我的心以经死了...我之所以到先在才把那些短讯的内容写出来...是因为...我的心还在痛...我让全世界看见了我的痛...看见了我的泪就是不给你看到我没有了你我有多软弱...你说我不想看到你...我只能说...我不是不想而是不敢...因为我以经失去了面对你的勇气...我很害怕你会因为我而失去你当初跟我分手要的宁静...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
haha.. thou de whole show was disappointing.. but i did had an enjoyable time tonite. LOL starting frm wat.. mmm... me sayin i'm hungary and we went to mayim and sat dwn... cuz was told by tt carrie ger tt de tim sum was nice.. hahahhaa..end up we gotta dare each other to finish de food bcuz it was damn shitty.. i tink i wun dare to eat any tim sum for the time being le. lol..
lol.. this thursday... is kenny bday.. lol wanna see hw he's gg to die (hahah...like veri bad like tt horr).. LOL
well.. my schedule for Wednesday 19th Mar:
8.30am working
12pm lunch/rest(which i chose to rest den eat)
5.30pm knock off
6pm jogging/swimming?(well..either one and most prob is jogging)
8pm home sweet home
9pm beauty sleep
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
原来我的妆画得再浓只要一把眼泪就可以把我的妆融化掉...骗的了别人骗不了自己...我错了...
我受了点伤...一点而已..
Monday, March 17, 2008
well.. i seems fine on the outside nowadays wif my increased appetite and of cuz putting on those unnecessary weight which is of cuz difficult to lose. but fact is... there's a 85% chance where i'm having my relapse. i'm waiting for the report to be out. waiting for the call. i have been put on medication for few weeks le. dis coming april. wen i go back for my checkup i will be able to noe if the medication did help again. maybe more den 8-9 yrs ago de medicine did help. dis time i'm not sure. i was told to buy vitamins to help out my nite blindness. so today.. i went to GNC to get the vitamin As and Es... =) well so frm now on anyone who ransack my bag will get to see 2bottles of vitamins inside. haha mm.. well... being weak since young was de reason why i din reali wanna him to be wif me for long initally as i dun wanna be a burden if i have a relapse. the onli ting that i'm glad now was that he broke up wif me.. at least if the reports are out and is negative... i wun be burdening any guys happiness.. so the best ting is for me to stay single.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
blah blah blah. so bored. haha i'm gg out to meet up wif my galfrenz later..haha.everything back to normal. LOL fast nia... LOL
Saturday, March 15, 2008
on this raining day... it reminded me of you... miss the times when you called me silly ger.. and i would juz smile happily at you...nites are getting colder.. sooner or later i need a hug to slp. to feel de warmth. all the soft toys are not working obviously..
Thursday, March 13, 2008
wen one starts to miss someone. tt feeling... well... no mood to meet anyone now. work piling up tryin to clear by dis week hopefully b4 fri. so that can pei alson go watch his movie without worry lo.. =)
make up is something that i am doing everyday..so that it hides my everything giving me a new identity.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
太多太多的不应该...最不应该的就是喜欢上你...
Sunday, March 09, 2008
情书
这是我想写的情书...为一的一篇情书...the first and only love letter that i will write and will ever write. thou is short.. but it summarises everything. in one simple sentence..Fate played me.
从我第一次看到你...我以经被你的一举一动,你的眼神和你的微笑深深的吸引住...从来不会主动的我...根本没有那勇起对你说声我被你吸引住了...不知到从几时开始..我不知不觉的喜欢上你...这一次当我鼓起了勇气想对你说:“我真的好喜欢你”...也以经太迟了...现在的我只能面带微笑当做什么也没发生过...看见你...我感到心如刀割...但我能做的也只是强忍着泪水听你对我说...你现在有多幸福...我不知道你对我又是怎样的感觉...不管我有多想知道你到底在想什么,对我是怎样的感觉...这些也以经不重要了...因为你以经做了你的选择...只要你高兴我也无所为...你每次都说我看见你总是没话说...我不是没话说...而是不敢多说...我选择了保持沉默...选择了宁愿听你对我说...你现在很幸福...
Saturday, March 08, 2008
以经失去所有的理智...totally dunno wat the heck i tryin to sae wen i tok to ppl today.as i'm typing here. my mind is blank. no..i gt lotsa tots gg on. but i cant piece it up at all. cant remember wat is it tt i wanna sae do or tink at all. 痛...
Friday, March 07, 2008
我已经失去了我所有的幸福。。不属于我的。。也永远得不到。。我的幸福到底在那里?
having the courage to resist someone and be alone is actually veri easy. and wat de fuck de world is turning into. i got no idea.
signing off now. gtta be alone for long time.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
i tink i'm juz like a reptile lorr.. or even worse den one. one big hot day everyone's pespiring yet i'm cold like hell. wearin my jacket out. others see le tot i siao sia.. haha i guess i juz need more jacket more jacket lorr. haha in de office i can wear 4 tops and stil feel like ice. haha outside of cuz lesser but stil no lesser den 3. LOL siao rite..hahha.. tink i juz gonna explode frm my thots soon. i better delete the no. if nt i guess.. somethings gg to happen real soon. wth. and recently my eyesight seems to be gettin worse. i cant see in de nite. cuz nite blindness. and is onli recently tt i realize tt. i wil juz fall cuz i din manage to see tt step or wat's nt de lo. looks like i juz lack lotsa vitamin As.. gtta feed myself wif it nw. tt day omost fell dwn de cinema stairs juz cuz i cant see well. toes kena stepped. keep fallin dwn wen at the beach..stupid vitamin A.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
hello
Simple 19 going 20 =)
find simplicity out of everything
whats up
Long Term Loves - SLEEPING(1st on the list) - MahJONG-ing - PhotograpHY - BAKING(DEFINITELY=D)
Short Term Loves - Studying - Working [who wants all this right? haha]
i want/i need
i want life to be simple [stupid wish]
i want money to fall from the sky [childish thinking]
i want all the luxuries without working [wishful thinking]