一句我爱你以经不能让我安心了。。。if telling me i still love you more den b4 few months back.. i would gladly believe it. i will be over de moon. i will take it as an assurance. rite now.. is nt enuf. in fact it scare me even more. i noe i'm avoiding and running away frm all this. i rather stay blur to tings ard me. thou i noe i lose out alot. but i'm afraid of being hurt again. so i chose to believe that ignorant is bliss. i've locked up my heart. so that i can live normally and get on wif my life. sayin i love you haf alr become a kind of torture to you. listening to you tellin me i love you adds on another scar deeply imprinted on my heart. bcuz the heart hurts to see u in such torture. i'm slowly getting used to living by myself..a world without you directly involved. seen de truth..the world is damn cold. cold to the lonely soul. there's nobody that u can trust without choosing to place your trust. 家人，朋友，情人... tt feb 29, thou i can seem nt to be bothered at all bout it...fact is, it haf hurt me alot. makes me feel as if i'm reali incapable. it hurts more nw as reality sinks in. after thots haf been sort out. 一个又一个... 好像都把我当玩偶... 一方面怕伤害到我另一方面又想保护我... dun push me ard.
zhenghui, one who dun speak up ur mind to me at all. thou i noe ur feelin troubled bout something tt is regarding me. but ur nt sayin anything.. and nw.. if u tink bout it.. we are avoiding each other juz bcuz there seems to be tings nt laid out on de table to talk clearly. 不管是朋友还是情人...i dun wish tings to be like hw it is now. thou i guess u will juz tell me there's nthing to talk about. i wish that you can take sometime and haf a look at your heart. love and responsibilities are different tings. 爱一个人就是要全心全意的爱她..而不是因为爱她所以有责任保护那段感情...如果真的有情根本不需要有责任来保护...因为那段感情早以被两个人的爱受到了保护...my chinese isnt good -_-" wat i'm tryin to say is, if both of you are truely loving each other den that r/s will naturally be protected by the love that both of you haf for each other. and not the other way rd like wat u told me b4. if u love her and that gifs u de responsibilites to protect the r/s. den wat is love? love shld nt comes wif such terms. bcuz in de long run, you will only be exhuasted by it. exhausted by the love that comes with de responsibility to protect the r/s..对你..我只知道we are in avoidance. avoid for wat? i've gt no idea.
zhixing another one. kept his thots everything to himself too. i noe your someone who dun regret your decision. that's y i cried so hard. heartache so long wen u told me u are breaking up wif me. i noe u will keep your words. even until after ur ns, tt ger might nt be me anymore bcuz u once told me u will only haf one regret in your life. i'm alr nt keepin any hope that we will haf any chance since my bday. b4 my bday.. i still held hopes. but tt nite.. those tings that u ask me to do. and after so long... u actually apologise. but yet the tings that u apologise.. "i'm sorry to haf made you love me so much" dis the kind of tings u apologise for.. can u imagine hw i felt... hw hard i cried that nite. tt nite... u shattered all my hope. i lost myself on feb 9 2008. 失去了那颗星我真的失去了我的心..
and after so long.. u suddenly sms me. telling me you miss me. is something you have never sae to me in that way. i was stunned to tear. i couldnt tink. i tot i've alr put u aside at least put somewhere deep in my heart. u dun wan to gif me assurance. u dun wan to accept back the r/s. yet you tell me u miss me? i've gt a question, u miss me is it bcuz its been veri long since you last saw me or bcuz u juz miss me? no point even if i noe de answer now... our memories have long become our past. something tt is taken out to joke about. 对你我不知道该做什么...bcuz ur nt giving me clear signs.
all i asked for.. was something simple: uncomplicated love.
is it that difficult? both of dem... liang ge da nan ren..yu dao le wo.. jiu yi ding yao san xin liang yi ma?
