tings are getting so boring. i'm practically back to my old lifestyle. and i'm getting old. wen i tok i sound like an old grandmother. -_-" well at the tot of being back to old lifestyle freaks me out. drinking like there's no tmr. ya is true i cut dwn on clubbing alot alot alot until i seldom go. but lately drinking seems to be alway on my to do list. i dun crave for alcohol. but juz cant stay away frm it. either i drink at hm till i fall on my bed and wake up juz cuz i heard ppl msn-ing me...which is veri stupid. cuz i wil get a BIG HEADACHE orr i will keep getting sms-es to go out chill. anddd out of boredom i will go. which is stupid. i noe. i keep saying is stupid yet i am still doing it. alrite something even more stupid last nite. tt alson thou i noe i dun haf to worry bout him yet for no reason i worried for him last nite. end up i told him i will go rest wen he reaches hm. and at the tot of it now. i find tt i AM JUZ SO OLD!!! tt's y i dun wan to tok to him today at all. -_-" stupid rite. old woman toking to one pathetic old man. zzz. stupid rite. well anw i din rest well oso. due to horrible gastric. i tink i started worrying for frenz nw is bcuz ppl/fren ard me are like gg soo off the track nw. i dun handle ppl's problem but den i sad for dem. tt's y my heart is getting older every min with every tot. i am dead tire yet i cant slp. i fell asleep on cars on trains but wen i reach hm i am wide awake.!!! freaking freaked out.
why am i so afraid of going back to old lifestyle.? actually there's a real reason. but i can't blog or sae bout it. only he(my ex) noes and i noe. and i am feeling damn terrible about it. i juz can't face the fact up till now. thou i tink there's about 2 yrs that had passed since it happen. i juz dunno how to go about facing it and to get over it. ever since then, it had been a barrier for me. one that i can't and most probably will never get over it. don't ask me what happen unless i wanna tok to you about it myself. don't force me to say because i will go into real avoidance. 那种感觉好辛苦...but i can't do anything about it. Le Sigh...
heh. i've got frenz who tinks i'm damn open to everything. i've got fren who find that i'm juz too random. i've got frenz who tinks i'm okay with everything. but den.. i tink. there's still certain limit to my openness which i dun show and speak about. whichhhh. haiz. why ar? dotz leh. well anw juz feel like blogging everything here today except that ting. soo tink dis will be a long and naggy post. mmm...tings are definitely getting out of hand. 2007 is a year where lovers break up. 2008 is a year where lifes get into BIG BIG MESS. well wat else can i tink about now? my studies they are definitely going well. job searching i am taking it damn relax mood nw. playin..i'm getting into the playing hard lifestyle while i can AGAIN! family? yes dey are impt but dun feel close now. only dun wanna see dem sad tt's all. frenz? all going emo. hai wo oso worry for no reason...-_-" the usual heck care attitude of mine!!! GONE! in one nite? zzz.
i'm oso dying le~~~omg.
*** yilin better prepare money kae.. i told you last nite wat i wan le. dun need too many maids i scare of dem. later u nt ard to help me settle dem i will scare de.LOL! international passport arh. remember that. is impt. bcuz i wanna roam de world. heee..the list will go on de. dun worry. Oh and dun worry that i din leave anything for you wen i leave the world ya. i will leave behind all the guys for your choosing de. LOL! slowly pick. they are all yours. HAHA
