cant do it. fail again. my mind's not there. my heart is not with me. how am i suppose to do well?
hope tmr will be better. kinda tire at the tot of it. but gotta go thru it. i am waiting.
i noe why i wanna be at home by 10. is bcus i felt insecure unsafe. like something bad is gonna happen again. tis time round i wanna protect myself. i just felt it. like something bad is really gonna happen if i were to hang out late. hopefully this feeling will pass soon.
i pray that your safe.
hope ur fine...
i'm lying on my bed now... just had a quarrel with my mum. not exactly a quarrel more like i just dun like some of the tings she said. i hate taking money from daddy. one moment daddy sae gif me 100. the nx she will sae u take so much for wat. i mean i din ask for that much... daddy was the one who sae ask mummy pass u 100. and i said was orh. okay.. I DIN EVEN SPECIFY HOW MUCH I WAN! even if u gif me 1 buck i oso like tt! why the fuck wanna sae is i ask for it de?! the problem wif my mum is that she owayz tinks i only noe hw to spend. she din even tink bout wen i pass her money every mth. everytime oso quarrel about money wif me. i noe i'm old enuf to work to earn myself and shouldnt take any more damn money from u guys! but is daddy wanna gif me de rite! if he gives didi u jiu sae nthing! gif me everytime oso must QUARREL! wtf! cant u just gif me some peace?! i'm already vexed enuf!! i found so many jobs where the employer wanna hire me end up u dis cannot that cannot!! where the hell u wan me work den?! WHY NOT I JUST SIT AT HOME AND ROT?! OR I DUN GO HOME AT ALL?! WHICH DO U PREFER?! I GUESS U PREFER THE LATTER RITE! SO TT U DUN GET TO SEE ME AT ALL!!!!
stop contradicting. i dun work u nag. i work u nag. i stay at home u nag. i stay out u nag. i help u with chores u nag. i dun help u oso nag. WTF U WAN FRM ME?! DO U FREAKING KNOW I AM NOW TEARING WHILE TYPING THIS DAMN POST ANOT?!!!
I freaking tell u my DEAREST MUM! my heart is getting more sensitive! anything u say affects my mood easily now! u noe is impossible i will leave u guys alone when ur old. so stop saying next time wanna get money from me is difficult! when have i not given wen i gt the ability! WHEN HAVE I NOT?!!
how i wish you are here now.. 1 year is finally almost over... by the time you finish serving ns, will be 3 years gone...
been sick the whole day... don't remember what i've eaten to give me diarrhoea again..
been searching for my inspirations...
突然觉得好心痛。。。
don't know what did the future have for me...
愿望会成真吗?
my mum ask me a question today..: 你是不是有什么心事?
i ask why did she suddenly ask that question.
her answer: 你是我女儿。。。每天看这你。。虽然你每天都喜喜哈哈的说个不停。。但很明显你变的好憔悴。。。好像是在呈强。。。
i told her: 咪。。没有啦。。。只是有点担心zhixing...
her reply: 你为他担心他懂吗?虽然说是你自己直前有点不对。。。但必经你这几个月的努力连我都看了心疼。。。他还是对你这么冷淡。。。值得吗?
my answer: 你有没有过那种感觉,处了他。。对别人都不可能在喜欢了? 好像他就是明中主定的那个人?
my mum look at me with tearful eyes today... i was so grateful that she understood my feelings. that she did not force me to give up like what people normally will ask me to do... i guess its because she understood well how i felt..
有时后,月老牵了红线,像摆脱都摆不掉。。。
i pray that you are safe and sound.
been thinking alot lately, and somehow i wonder..wondering what's love all about...
Relationship,
I believe every couples will face the same situation at certain stages of their courtship.
No matter how hard the men try to do, women are always not contented with it and claimed that the men are lack of romance, chemistry and are always so monotonous.
Slowly, this is what will happened,
Woman decided to leave him.
"We are the one and fated for each other if tonight rain", the Man said.
Later tonight, water droplets fell softly thereby forming an uneven rhythm on her window. The Woman was woken up by the rhythm and she was surprised when she actually saw the gentle reflection on her smooth and tender face of the bright moonlight.
She climbed the stairs slowly to the rooftop, saw the Man filled with sweat, was pouring down water slowly.Woman just gave him a big hug from behind and said "I love you."
Relationship, isnt that beautiful? Relationship, let the hopeless and lonely people find happiness just like meeting oasis in the desert. still, i treat it as a bonus now.and realised.. deep down, the Woman still have a very special place in my heart. God, make full use of her since you had already took her away.
"the man still have a very special place in my heart. God, take care and treasure him since you had took him away from me."
I pray hard that you are safe and sound all the time. I will owayz make sure your properly taken care of morally. I pray hard that you will be taken care of when your there. Though i can't be there personally, remember just one call from you and i'll be there the next moment. i will owayz pray for you to keep you safe. Please take care alright?
wow.. just had a long chat wif raymond kor. din noe so much have happen over dis few years. so much so that its hard for me to comprehend. i'm overloaded. too li hai le. >.<
i hope i can pick myself up within this 2 years. i felt so vulnerable now. i lost the ability to judge.. like who's good or who's bad... i can't read from the surface anymore.. and furthermore... i'm in somewhere so new to me... i really dunno wat's real and wat's not... it makes me wanna hide in the backgrd. but i understand that... i gotta learn to pick up my confidence level sooner or later and by hook or by crook. i wanna show him i have the ability. i dun wan to fail him or myself any longer. growing up is so hard. especially when morale have been given a big blow. so many cross junctions. so many tings to learn and decide.
我好想好想让你看见我这两年会有的改变。。。看见我的努力和成功。。。好想证明给自己看
i was told repeatedly by someone that our destiny is pre-destined. but i owayz believe if i try hard enuf.. i will owayz be able to change it.. cuz 命运使终掌握在自己的手里。。。