this the first weekend that i spent it peacefully. to others it might be dead boring.. bcuz for my saturday i actually slept till late afternoon with no disturbance no bad dreams. it was a sleep i have been longing for ever since then.. after washing up i just did some of my stuff which i thrown one side previously like my stitching? haha.. while watching those DVDs that my brother have brought back for me. well... nobody is at home all the while.. so its just me.. i watch the tv till the wee hours.. actually did consider going out for a drink at ard 11plus since my friend called.. but i really didnt wanna upset my peaceful routine by going out so i just rejected them. i didn't know that there's cartoon at 2am in the morning! haha so i just sat there watching and laughing to myself.. sounds like i'm mad.. lol but its been so long since i just stay home with no other thoughts. lol... there's so many nicee show during the wee hours.. looks like i can give this lappy of mine a rest since i found something else to do.. hehe.. if not i will usually be surfing the net.. getting ideas.. doing my research.. talking about research, i tink this time i'm in even more trouble. lol... well but see how it goes..
isnt it strange that.. it takes 2 person to decide to get into a relationship but only need one person to end the relationship? usually tt's the case right? seldom did i hear that 2 person break up willingly.. without one party feeling more hurt than the other. looking at my friend trying to get back to daily life after all the heartche trying to stand up.. hah. i din even bother anymore now. previously i did tot of trying to get myself back and everything thinking that everything's gonna be alright... now.. i just feel that.. since i cant get myself back anymore.. why not just live one day as it pass and see how it goes again.. i find that it is easier to live den to try and let go of everything when i know its impossible to let go of something that i find is worth holding on... make sense? well it depends on how you think.. well of cuz there are people out there whom i know can get over such things easily within a few days and they are moving on having another relationship..(maybe it applies to him as well.. i dunno.. becuz he seems to live a happier life now den b4... like he've already moved on while i'm still here at this stage.) maybe i'm also wrong because he's someone who doesnt express his feelings at all and totally dun show it to anyone at all.. so i guess unless he said it will alway remain as a mystery to me...
i guess certain things i did to him have really hurt him alot.. that in some ways, he really have given up on us. thinking about those things i did.. it will alway be my regrets.. that's y i alway say now, treasure the person that you love do not wait till you have lost him than regret. it's gonna be a lifetime regret by then.
hugo, i hope your doing well there.. do take care of yourselves as you have said you will. i trust you on that.